Not long ago, my God = Jehova Adonai, whose son is Jesus Christ, was speaking to me by the Holy Spirit inside of me through his "still small voice" about guidance in a particular situation that I was in. The situation was not one that was life threatening, nor was it one in which a relationship with family or friends was threatened.
The Holy Spirit gave me a picture of my situation in which I was "lost" in a valley surrounded by tall mountains such as those in the Canadian Rockies around Banff/Lake Louise area. The sun was setting and I did not know the way out. All of a sudden in this picture in my mind, a guide shows up who was looking for me. He assured me he knew the way out. We travelled on some "switch backs" which is an ever rising trail that curves back on itself . . .
The path that I was on with this guide was unknown to me as I had come into the valley by a much easier path which for some reason I could not find. As the sun continued to set, I became more and more uneasy about whether or not this trail would get me out of my situation . . . I was tempted to go back down and look for my old path "into the valley", thinking it would lead me out . . .
It was decision time . . . will I trust my own voice and experiences which got me into the valley, or will I trust a stranger/guide who I have not really known who claims to know the way out?
In Recovery, especially in the beginning, we are faced with this all the time, everyday. What a struggle! I am looking for some stranger/sponsor for answers to my life whom I am not really sure that I can trust. I have already had a number of people "rookie do, tattoo, and snaffoo" me. My level of trust is pretty low . . .
Then additionally, there is this 3rd Step in which I turn my life over to "a voice"/Higher Power/God that I am not even sure exists. How about some help out there . . . ? It is much easier just to follow my "own voice", you know the one that said, "Oh I can use just this once . . . ," or, "I can control it this time", or "I can't sleep or I can't calm down or I can't survive or I can't have fun without a little meth/cocaine/pot/alcohol/etc." So what do I do to get out of the "valley of addiction"?
My suggestion, get a well-seasoned sponsor and just make the choice to trust him/her, get on a new path to you called the 12-steps of recovery (which has been a tried and true path of recovery for millions over the years), and at the same time get connected to the creator of the universe who made you and begin learning how to hear and follow His voice so that eventually you have "an internal guide" as well as the external guide. Moving in the "right" direction should always provide a sense of "peace" in your gut, which may not necessarily line up with what your head is saying or your emotions are feeling. What is "cool" about being connected to the guidance of your Creator, He knows the "best way" out of your situation all the time.
In my real life problem, I chose to listen to the Holy Spirit and followed the "peace" that was emanating from my "gut" even though it did not make sense to my head. That decision really was not so hard because I have been attempting to hear and follow His voice for 26+ years. Sometimes His paths have been "a little hairy", but His paths have always turned out great in the long run . . . This decision to trust His voice led to a blessing for a friend of mine as well as a financial blessing for myself . . .
So go for it! As you "step out in faith" to trust the voice of your sponsor, trust the path of the 12-steps of recovery, and trust the voice of your Higher Power, your Higher Power will catch you and make sure you land on firm ground . . . Your old "obsessive voice"? Go ahead and ignore that dude right now . . . that "obsessive voice" will take you down to the bottom of the mountain again and even lower than before!
Take care! God bless you with the wisdom and direction that you need in this moment!
Christopher James Daniel, MA, LPC
Christopher James Daniel, LPC.