Much of the general public understands "recovery" from alcohol/drug addiction as simply "not using anymore", a.k.a. a life of "sobriety."  This belief actually describes the "state of being sober," which is abstaining from the use of alcohol/drugs and/or other mood altering substances.  "Sobriety" is all about maintaining your focus on saying "NO" to drinking/drugging, saying "NO" to hanging out with your old user buddies, saying "NO" to going to the old places where you use to use.  It is a life of "no's" and "avoidance" achieved in one's own "power".  "Sobriety" is NOT "recovery". The result of sobriety without recovery is a restless, irritable, discontented, bored life, which most of the time will lead back to using again . . . 
       True "recovery" includeds "sobriety" but the focus is different.  In Recovery, the focus is on saying "YES" to connecting to your Higher Power/God on a daily basis, and allowing His power to transform your life.  With the obsession for using alcohol/drugs removed because of this connection, you don't have to say "NO" to the old things, as you don't want to do them anymore. 

You have healthy new wants and desires which create an active, thriving life.  Yes, it is still wise not to engage in the "NO's" of sobriety, but it is NOT your main focus.  In "recovery", the former addiction/alcoholic is focused on learning how to live life to its fullest without the use of alcohol/drugs, and doing this in the context of a "recovering" community.  
                                            (p.31 of "The Little Book)

My mom, never found "recovery", although she found long periods of "sobriety".  I hope you find "recovery" and the "great life" that God has created you for!  God Bless You!

CJD

            Have you ever thought about in life the strange and different impulses/urges that pop into your head and heart from time to time?  Specifically, have you noticed how you get these impulses/urges to do things - like go get some icecream; or put gas in your car now; help that little old lady out by putting her groceries in the car for her; or go ahead and take that cell phone on the table there that someone left; don't tell the cashier she gave you extra money; or do tell the cashier she gave you extra money  . . .
            Some of these impulses/urges are seemingly neutral, some are overtly negative/evil, while others are very positive/helpful.  So what does this have to do with the existence of a spirit world and/or the existence of a God/Higher Power? 
            Well, I have noticed in my own life that these impulses/"urges" have different intensities to them.  For example, I find that positive impulses/urges that I might experience such as "help that lady over there with her groceries" are generally very gentle messages that seem to be "leading" me into the positive action.  I don't feel forced to act on the positive urge, and in fact I find it fairly easy to reject and to ignore it.  If I do ignore it, I may feel a sadness in my heart and thus want to willingly choose to go back and do what I was being led to do by the positive impulse.  
            On the other hand, my experience with negative impulses/urges is quite different.  When a negative impulse hits such as "let's go shop" when you are on a budget and have no more to spend for the month, this impulse is not a gentle "leading", it is a push to action that feels like there is no other option than to obey the impulse or be constanly bombarded by the impulse to do the action until it is acted on.  To resist a negative impulse requires so much more emotional and mental energy than it does to resist doing a positive impulse.  The "strength" behind the negative impulse feels so much more overwhelming than does the "strength" behind a positive impulse. 

So what is the deal here?  If we are just simple biological creatures, and there is no spiritual world, and it is just us and what we can see and hear and touch, should not positive and negative impulses/urges that we experience have the same strength and require the same amount of energy to resist?
            Could it be that there is a whole other world in which negative forces and positive forces are constantly attempting to influence our decision making process and thus our actions which form our lives in this world?  Could this other world be a world of spiritual beings attempting to guide and/or manipulate us human beings thru impulses/urges someof which are generated by them?  
            In my own life, I have had many experiences beyond simple impulses/urges, when I have awakened in a room at night to feel a "cold presence" next to me . . . with a great overwhelming sense of fear trying to literally swallow up my being.  That presence would immediately leave when I would say "In the name of Jesus Christ" I command you to go.  Other times, I have awakened in the night hour to feel "an overwhelming sense of peace" in the room, which I gladly basked in - this was the Holy Spirit of God.  
            So, something to think about . . . do the differences in the strength and nature of positive impulses/urges versus negative impulses/urges point to the existence of a spiritual world, and thus to God/Higher Power that is not me?  Look forward to your  comments . . .  CJDaniel

PS - or is it just random chemical imbalances, and hey buddy just pass me some Xanax?

            Not long ago, my God = Jehova Adonai, whose son is Jesus Christ, was speaking to me by the Holy Spirit inside of me through his "still small voice" about guidance in a particular situation that I was in.  The situation was not one that was life threatening, nor was it one in which a relationship with family or friends was threatened.  
            The Holy Spirit gave me a picture of my situation in which I was "lost" in a valley surrounded by tall mountains such as those in the Canadian Rockies around Banff/Lake Louise area.  The sun was setting and I did not know the way out.  All of a sudden in this picture in my mind, a guide shows up who was looking for me.  He assured me he knew the way out.  We travelled on some "switch backs" which is an ever rising trail that curves back on itself . . . 
            The path that I was on with this guide was unknown to me as I had come into the valley by a much easier path which for some reason I could not find.  As the sun continued to set, I became more and more uneasy about whether or not this trail would get me out of my situation . . . I was tempted to go back down and look for my old path "into the valley",  thinking it would lead me out . . .
              It was decision time . . . will I trust my own voice and experiences which got me into the valley, or will I trust a stranger/guide who I have not really known who claims to know the way out?
            In Recovery, especially in the beginning, we are faced with this all the time, everyday.  What a struggle!  I am looking for some stranger/sponsor for answers to my life whom I am not really sure that I can trust.  I have already had a number of people "rookie do, tattoo, and snaffoo" me. My level of trust is pretty low . . . 
            Then additionally, there is this 3rd Step in which I turn my life over to "a voice"/Higher Power/God that I am not even sure exists.  How about some help out there . . . ?  It is much easier just to follow my "own voice", you know the one that said, "Oh I can use just this once . . . ," or, "I can control it this time", or "I can't sleep or I can't calm down or I can't survive or I can't have fun without a little meth/cocaine/pot/alcohol/etc."  So what do I do to get out of the "valley of addiction"?  

            My suggestion, get a well-seasoned sponsor and just make the choice to trust him/her, get on a new path to you called the 12-steps of recovery (which has been a tried and true path of recovery for millions over the years), and at the same time get connected to the creator of the universe who made you and begin learning how to hear and follow His voice so that eventually you have "an internal guide" as well as the external guide.  Moving in the "right" direction should always provide a sense of "peace" in your gut, which may not necessarily line up with what your head is saying or your emotions are feeling.  What is "cool" about being connected to the guidance of your Creator, He knows the "best way" out of your situation all the time.
            In my real life problem, I chose to listen to the Holy Spirit and followed the "peace" that was emanating from my "gut" even though it did not make sense to my head.  That decision really was not so hard because I have been attempting to hear and follow His voice for 26+ years.  Sometimes His paths have been "a little hairy", but His paths have always turned out great in the long run . . .  This decision to trust His voice led to a blessing for a friend of mine as well as a financial blessing for  myself . . . 
            So go for it!  As you "step out in faith" to trust the voice of your sponsor, trust the path of the 12-steps of recovery, and trust the voice of your Higher Power, your Higher Power will catch you and make sure you land on firm ground . . .  Your old "obsessive voice"?  Go ahead and ignore that dude right now . . . that "obsessive voice" will take you down to the bottom of the mountain again and even lower than before!  

            Take care!  God bless you with the wisdom and direction that you need in this moment!

Christopher James Daniel, MA, LPC