Don’t go home to your home alone . . . why? You have no one to stand in the way of your impulse to use when it occurs. 85% of all relapse happens in first 90 days of sobriety as the “hardware piece of your brain” that is responsible for resisting impulses does not work so well. Living home alone in isolation makes it more likely for you to experience “loneliness” and “boredom” which triggers “euphoric recall” which reminds you that “using drugs/alcohol” is a “solution” to life problems versus being a “source of life problems”. And of course your mind and its “stinking thinking” will suggest to you the solution is NOT going to a meeting or calling your sponsor, but “smoking a joint” or “having just 1 beer”.
Don’t go to your family home after treatment . . . why? It creates a situation where your wife, husband, mother, father, brother, or sister becomes your “sober policeman” who then is the one who 1) gets to drug test you for accountability purposes; 2) gets to pull you out of bed to go to work when you don’t feel like it do to fatigue; 3) gets to confront you regularly as to how you are doing on your step work as well as how many times are you meeting with your sponsor and when was the last time you went to a meeting? When a family member does this, it creates resentment in you and them as you feel like you’re being treated like a child; family members become upset that you don’t appreciate “their efforts” to help you “get a life”.
Don’t fill in “all the time you recapture when you stop using” with excessive work and/or school to “catch up” . . . why? This just exacerbates and prolongs old patterns of “all or nothing” thinking as well as makes recovery a “secondary priority” versus first. As you achieve “some success” you will tend to become “complacent” about recovery and stop it all together as it becomes “inconvenient” for your work or your schooling. You will find yourself burned out after 6-9 months and most likely use or at least become miserable until you break down and use again. Additionally, there are basic life skills of taking care of self that need to be rebuilt in you which work &/or school can’t do alone.
Don’t get back into a relationship with opposite sex/SO . . . why? He/she will become your new drug. Relationships take “time” and in any new relationship, you will be tempted to put lots of time into it as you have lots of time you have recaptured when you give up using. The relationship will become your new “solution” to manage thru different life situations such as “boredom”, “frustration”, “anger”, “loneliness”, “fatigue”, “having fun”. This relationship will take more and more of your time . . . time which you need to invest in recovery activities of – going to meetings, meeting with sponsor, doing step-work, meeting with your own sponsees and doing other service work. Also for most folks in recovery, your relationship skills “suck” – blurred boundaries, unrealistic expectations for the relationship, codependency issues, no understanding nor skills on how to take care of yourself. You become 2 leeches sucking the life out of each other.
SO WHAT SHOULD YOU DO after treatment? For starters, listen to what your case-manager suggests! More later on post treatment thoughts!
Good luck to you in recovery! Blessings to you!